Vulnerable
by Amvonz
Summary: Chapter 28 AU. In all her life, Petra prepared herself for many struggles. She perfected the art of lying to her father and smiling at the same time. She'd learned how to avoid becoming bitter at having to escape still hot beds in the middle of the night. She knew how to grieve fallen comrades, how to swallow down fear in combat.


Gunter's corpse dangled from the trees, a fly caught in the spider's web, neck yawning open like a mouth in mid scream.

Erd. Erd was strewn all across the earth, shredded callously, his cold face cast in shadow as Levi swung by.

Auruo's body, the body of a warrior, so carefully honed and trained, was nothing but a broken twist of bone and flesh, crushed against a tree, face contorted in terror.

Petra's body sat at the base of a giant tree, legs splayed out in front of her, blonde hair masking her face. Levi rested his grey eyes on her for a moment, bitter at the knowledge that her death couldn't have been as peaceful as it appeared. He tore his gaze away and continued on his path after the female titan.

The battle proved difficult and simple all at once. Mikasa moved with the agility and power of a decorated soldier, but her stubborn desire to kill the titan left Levi with an injured arm.

The pain was not insignificant, shooting up and down his body in hot surges, but he'd suffered much worse before. Mikasa's mouth was downturned in what Levi imagined was guilt. He didn't have the time for it. Hefting Eren closer into his side, he turned around, away from the defeated titan, back to the troops.

That's when they heard the screams. Powerful and piercing, tearing all through the forest. There were no words, just a voice ripping through the sky. Pulling Eren tighter into his side, Levi lead Mikasa towards the sound. Birds literally fled their homes, whizzing overhead past Levi and Mikasa. The trees grew thick together as they got closer to heart of the forest, but it wasn't until the stench of blood started rising in waves that Levi realized who had been screaming. Impossible. A sick miracle. All coherent thoughts came screeching to a halt.

Mikasa landed first and ran for the tree, the blood soaked earth dirtying her boots. She knelt down and moved her hand outward, but her fingers froze just an inch from the body when another scream, this time much more quiet, ripped out. Levi dropped to the earth, swinging to one side with the weight of his cargo, and stayed back, several meters away, eyes locked on the scene before him.

"Sir!" Mikasa stared at him, shouting, and it took Levi all of five seconds to contain his shock and engage in the present. He ran up to the bloody spot and knelt alongside Mikasa, Eren asleep between them. Levi's eyes stayed locked on Mikasa's.

"Go get help, I will stay here."

Mikasa moved to take the boy from his arms, but Levi did not comply, holding Eren's weight steady against himself.

"Carrying him will only slow you down. I need you to bring soldiers back immediately to carry out Ral and Jaeger."

Again, that scowl passed over Mikasa's face but she nodded, taking a running jump into the air, not even glancing back when Petra's voice rose again, shrill and frightened.

"Wait!"

The blonde did not look at him, beautiful eyes trained on the sky above, mouth still unhinged from her last scream, quick, panicked breaths escaping.

Her voice came out as nothing more than a whimper, her throat finally giving in to exhaustion.

"Wait."

Levi's brow furrowed. She was calling after Mikasa.

"Petra."

She gulped in air, a large gasp, finally aware of her Captain's presence beside her, gaze falling from the sky to the trees in front of her.

Tears rolled down her face freely, mingling with the streaks of blood that ran from her mouth. He grunted, shifting until Eren's body fell off of his, laid out in the grass beside him. He hesitated before touching her, unsure of what could possibly bring her more harm.

He reached for her hand, pristine and unbroken in her lap. His fingers curled around her palm, and he felt the warm blood on her fingers. Glancing down, he saw that the white of her uniform was wet and red, the stain spreading out from her center.

It wasn't a gash or a puncture wound. Blood was spilling out from within her.

This time he didn't say her name with the force of a leader, the encouragement of a comrade, or even the soothing tone of a friend. It came out just under his breath, in the voice of a helpless man.

She maintained her silence, but her panicked breaths evened out, and this only made Levi more nervous. He glanced over at Eren. The boy had definitely looked better, but he would be safe for the moment.

The sun shined through the canopy and her lap glistened, the small pool around her legs sparkling. Bile rose in Levi's throat.

"Help is on the way. You'll be fine."

"She…she was intelligent. She killed them." Her mouth hung open, the blood on her lips congealed into black, sticky stains.

"I know."

Petra blinked and more hot tears rolled down her face, leaving fat streaks on her dirtied cheeks. He pushed on.

"But you will survive."

She still did not respond and her glassy eyes remained locked on the sky above. His fingers dug into her palm, as if he were her tether to the world.

The sunlight disappeared, blocked out by the shadow of a soldier above. The gallop of horses and the crunch of leaves underfoot came from ahead of them, but Levi did not look up, too focused on the warm, stained fingers in his grip.

Mikasa dropped down, swinging mid arc from her spot above. She'd led the troops back quickly, and the stone weight on Levi's chest lightened just a touch.

The cart they brought still had the odd container, and was creaking pitifully, but it would do. There was no guarantee that the female type wouldn't make another attempt at kidnapping Eren. Her brutality and determination were showcased all across the forest for them to see.

The soldier Levi recognized as Keiji approached the broken trio, followed by Mikasa. He stopped at the sight of the blood, and looked to Levi, who simply stood up and watched. Keiji overcame the hesitation and reached down, hooking his arms underneath Petra's, pulling the soldier to her feet. He hefted her body into his arms, ignoring the red stains smeared across his front.

Levi felt a twinge of pain, wishing he could be the one to carry her to safety. But sentiment was ridiculous. What they needed was to leave as quickly and safely as possible. The captain turned away and walked past Mikasa, who was carrying Eren onto the cart, laying him down as if he were made of china. Levi took the horse along the cart, watching Eren's prone body, holding his arm close to his side.

Keiji placed Petra alongside Eren, raising her legs up to rest on the edge of the cart, a small attempt to stem the bleeding.

They needed to get out of the forest, he needed to get her far from this place of horrors.

The medical ward was quiet, for once. Silence never truly remained, the groans of injured soldiers always perturbing any peacefulness. But injured soldiers were sparse that day. The female type did not devour or toss people aside. She did not miss. She killed with a purpose and with no hesitation.

The cots were empty save for Petra, who lay in a bed by the window, the shape of her body drowned in a scratchy sleeping gown. Seeing that it was only the two of them, Levi tugged on his cravat with his good arm, pulling it out and throwing it down on the bedside table.

The blood that stained her lips had been washed off, her hair brushed back and away from her face. He wondered briefly which friend of hers had snuck in and groomed her, carefully combing through dirty locks and scraping away thick dry blood.

Footsteps came from the end of the large room, stiff shoes clicking against hardwood floors.

The doctor was entering from the bathroom, dressed in patent shoes with a pristine coat. His silver hair reminded Levi that it had been many years since the doctor last saw active duty.

"I haven't finished my examination."

"I don't mind." Dry and clipped.

"Of course, Captain."

The doctor click clacked over to the bed and Levi studied the rise and fall of Petra's chest, the stillness of her lids.

"She should be awake by now."

The doctor glanced up, his eyes flashing.

"I've given her some medicine so that she will sleep through the pain."

Levi watched as the man's fingers ran over her bruised body, poking and tapping, pulling at joints to check for injury.

Skilled hands fluttered up towards the woman's head, lightly tugging on the bandage wrapped across her forehead. Satisfied, the doctor reached into his bag and retrieved a stethoscope, gleaming silver in the sun.

The man fidgeted and looked up into Levi's face, acknowledging his unrelenting stare with a nod.

"She will live."

He placed the flat end of the device on Petra's chest.

Levi, finally satisfied, sat in the chair by the cot and looked out towards the sun kissed horizon. He couldn't be truly happy in the moment, the loss of his men was too great. The injury to Petra was too significant. But she, at least, would survive. She'd endured.

His mouth retained the bitter taste of having to tell her father that she'd been wounded, his ears rang with the man's shouts.

The doctor made a small sound, a deep hum. Levi's ears pricked, but he did not shift his gaze from the grassy knolls, patient at last.

"Yes?"

A space of silence, boldly defying the captain. Levi curled his fingers around the armrest.

"Captain, I'm afraid that there is no saving this life."

Levi's chest tightened, his voice threatening to rise.

"You just told me she would survive."

His voice cut no room for nonsense. Levi turned away from the window, blazing eyes meeting the doctor's.

Disappointment sat on the older man's brow, warm eyes growing colder by the second. He remained silent.

Levi snapped.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The soldier was with child."

Levi's mouth slacked open, breath squeezed from his chest, all his oxygen escaping in a "huh". His hands fell into his lap, totally limp.

Levi's eyes dragged down from the doctor, following the line of the stethoscope, all the way to where it met the flesh of Petra's stomach.

Oh.

But hadn't they been careful?

_No,_ he chided himself. He'd been careful to clean his sheets and wait until dark. She'd been careful to call him_heichou_ and avoid his gaze.

They'd been careful not to get caught.

"The fetus is beyond any chance of survival. The tissue remains, but the heartbeat has stopped. Obviously, we still don't know what happened but it seems the impact of the soldier's body against the tree is what -"

"Enough."

The doctor stilled, his face setting into a look of solemn understanding. The look made Levi's stomach turn in disgust, acid bubbling.

Of course. The bleeding. That's what it had been. He'd watched that chance slip away and seep into the earth beneath him, and he hadn't realized it.

The doctor moved away from the cot, skirting the bed to face Levi, who stood, even though he wasn't sure how much more he could take from the man.

The older man came in close, voice at a conspiratorial low decibel.

"If her body doesn't completely reject the tissue and fetus, it could affect her ability to have children in the future."

"What?" His heart stopped at the weak, cracked voice.

Levi turned to see Petra, pallid like a ghost. She stared with wide eyes, the mist of drowsiness vanished from her face. Her gaze was unforgiving, never leaving his eyes.

She croaked it out again.

"What did he just say?"

Her face, usually such a beautiful peaches and cream complexion, turned ashen gray at the thick silence.

Levi remembered her back in the forest, trapped in a haze of pain and hysteria, and realized it hurt much, much more to see her like this. Lucid, aware of her surroundings. No pain to mask her from reality.

Levi wanted to be the one to tell her, the one to share such intimate news, but his tongue caught in his throat, pulled back by fear.

"I'm not…I'm not pregnant." The open question on her face clashed against the words leaving her mouth._ I'm not, right? Am I?_

The doctor shifted about on his feet, disarmed by the fact that not even Petra had known.

"You were about eleven weeks pregnant, but the nature of your injuries induced an incomplete miscarriage." Clinical and sterile, cold white in the face of Petra's visceral red suffering.

"I want it out of me." Her voice came in low tones, all cracked lips and dry throat.

"Naturally, your body should release all tissue within a week or so."

"No. Now. Get it out, now!" The doctor's mouth snapped shut, and the terror in Petra's eyes was unlike any expression Levi had ever seen on her. It broke his heart.

She'd never planned on this. This was the tragedy she had never expected. Living long enough to have this fate befall her - it hadn't occurred to her.

In all her life, Petra prepared herself for many struggles. She perfected the art of lying to her father and smiling at the same time. She'd learned how to avoid becoming bitter at having to escape still hot beds in the middle of the night. She knew how to grieve fallen comrades, how to swallow down fear in combat. She'd learned to stop expecting too much in the way of a future.

But this?

"I can provide you with an herbal mixture that will force the process to go much faster, but it will be painful. Is that what you want?"

Petra nodded and the doctor moved to leave but Levi stopped him.

"Is it safe?"

"It won't endanger her."

The doctor returned, the concoction in his hands stinking enough to give a man a headache, so foul it made Levi sick. That's what he told himself.

Petra swallowed it all down, bitter relief washing over her face, the fright and anxious crinkle in her brow relaxing. She could control this at least. She decided how this happened. Levi ducked his head.

"The pain will begin shortly. Take her to a bathroom."

Levi sat with her in the privy and noticed for the first time that she only ever cried in front of him. He felt indecent, then, because he never cried in front of anyone, not even her. And here she was, at the most vulnerable he'd ever seen a person, sharing the burden with him.

And she cried and cried, broken sobs shaking her body, agonized groans rumbling from her lips.

This time there was no hiding their truth. That was finished when he'd locked himself into the bathroom with her, half the corps watching from the hall as he shut the door. And he didn't care.

She grasped his hand in hers, tucking his palm against her lap, so similar to the way he'd clung to her in that forest.

Petra, so powerful. Petra, whose warmth touched even those who did not want it. Petra, whose body was a machine, a weapon that cut down enemies and twisted through the air with frightful elegance.

Petra who sat on the toilet and mourned for her comrades and her not-child, the never-was, might-have-been son or daughter. Petra, who mourned for Levi, unafraid to shed the tears he was too proud and hardened to let go of.

Petra's tears dried and her sobs quieted after an hour. Then, wordlessly, she stood and washed herself, removing every trace of what could have been.

This time, he came to her in her room. He tucked her into his body, and curled his limbs around her.

And this time he let himself be vulnerable, let a tear escape, in fact he let an entire sob leave him, a cry of happiness and loss bursting from his chest. He tangled his fingers in her hair and he did not fight it when she hooked her arms around his back, face pressed against his shoulder, his shirt becoming wet.

Levi always acted as the avenger, the warrior.

Now it was time to act honestly. The pain was not insignificant, but it was worth it.


End file.
